Let go. It’s time to let go. To whoever is reading this right now, maybe it is all that you need to hear. I very much hope it reaches you in time. 2019 was an absolute mess and for some of us, it felt like the end of the world. I can imagine how cold the evening of your heartbreak was, I can imagine how much it hurt you. You were shattered to the core, you felt worthless and unimportant at various moments in 2019. You felt like you weren’t needed in this world, yet you still kept on walking no matter how blurry your vision became. You are here, ready to enter and evolve into a whole new you, in a whole new year.
Growth is always boring, so slow that at times we forget that it is even happening. Though your year wasn’t much eventful, it by no means, means that you did not learn or outgrew your old self. You have changed so much for the good. For many people making a long list of resolutions is how they start their new years. But for you, even if you can only manage to turn over to the other side of the bed and feel like that’s all you can do for now, that is perfectly okay as well. Just because it is new years, you do not have to pretend to be all smiles and fun. As the decade approaches its end, I want you to remind yourself that 2019 burnt you out so much. And even then, you woke up the next day and went on about your day, and that my love is a strength you bear. You were so strong and faced all your vulnerable moments with great valor, you made it my love. You made it to the end of a whole decade. We all are so proud of you.
The last few years have been quite exhausting for you, and you might feel really tired right now but do me a favor and remember that in the last ten years, you fell but you still managed to get back up. You learned so much about yourself, you explored so many possibilities that made you realize what you really want out of this life. And so the next ten years are going to be full of learning as well, I promise you are ready to face it all. In 2020, no longer should you be willing to paint someone’s life with your blood just because they made you feel as if the ink in your love and sincerity wasn’t enough for them.
Let go of all the broken friendships, those who left you in the middle of nowhere, second-guessing your own worth. You most certainly don’t have to wish bad on them or try to rebuild the bond. You just have to remind yourself that, that person was like a mother, sister, best friend, soul-mate to you. But now they have served their purpose in your life and you have to accept that. You have to realize that in your life, YOU are the driver who controls where your life goes and what direction you want the wheel to stir in. The rest, be it be people, bonds, relationships, jobs, that subject you tried so hard to understand, all of the things except for you are the passengers. They are going to be there for only the time-span God has destined them to be, after that, they have to get off of the ride and make space for new opportunities, fresh relationships, and healthier bonds. I pray that you dispose of all the baggage of unfinished conversations, abandoned evenings and sleepless nights in 2019. I won’t promise you that 2020 is going to be all sunshine and rainbows for you, but I am sure that the past year has strengthened you enough to say ‘NO’ without guilt-tripping yourself in the approaching year. This new year’s, put yourself first.
2019 was one heck of a ride. It was an emotional roller-coaster, one that you so desperately wanted to stop and jump off of but didn’t, and know that I am so thankful for you are still here. I am thankful for you staring at your phone right now, reading this, absorbing this and knowing that you have made it this far. You made it to the end of the year regardless of what life threw your way. You felt crushed by the weight of countless disappointments but you made it through this year and all these bittersweet months of 2019. Just know that everything will be okay, and 2020 is a fresh start to your worthy life. You are so precious and I wish with all my heart that you remind yourself of this every single day, to the extent that you start believing it.
Because the sun will rise again and we will stand right back up and try again. This time, we are going to try again for you. 2020 is going to be nothing like the dynamic we had with ourselves in 2019. This time, it will be about you. About the beautiful person that you are, about the gem who gave, gave and gave so much of themselves to one-sided-relationships, empty dynamics, and dried out conversations. Don’t wish for all the things that you had to let go of in 2019 or for the people who left you to find their way back to you, because it is similar to going to the sea when you have no idea how to swim. So as the decade ends, and you step into the new year’s, just remember that darling, you are a glowstick; you had to break before you could shine.